Relief, excitement, anticipation, sadness, trust

Change brings so many things. All that has really changed this week is more people know I will be leaving the University after almost 32 years. Now I can start closing things off and moving on. I am relieved. I have moments with a twinge of sadness. I have subdued excitement.

Life is GOOD. My sister's life could be better. The treatments have been hard on her she's back to 91 pounds. She is feeling stronger than a few weeks ago though. Please continue to pray for her and Bill's continued strength.

Melissa is doing well. She's visiting friends and family in Taipei this weekend. Yeah sounds unreal but she lives in Taiwan.

We're still praying for Jay & Julie to experience God's healing so they can see a way to renew relationship with us.

Colleen's knee is getting better. Now to see how much longer before she can return to work.

The Announcement is out

As part of the ongoing integration of telephone technology and services with network technology and services, Steve Wriston will be leaving CNS this spring. The position of Telephone Services Manager will not be refilled. The remaining responsibilities will be assigned to others in the CNS team as appropriate.

Steve’s official last day will be June 30, however his last day will likely be earlier than that.

I would like to personally thank Steve for his work and dedication during his many years of service at the University. I wish him well in his future endeavours.

I've received my Layoff Notice

This is not as devastating as it would be for some. God is in control! I'm trying to listen to His direction, not as easy as it maybe should be. This is a strange mix of priorities and considerations.

I have details on severance compensation so now to decide on the best treatment to give CRA its fair share and keep my fair share.

Please pray for Colleen's strength and endurance as I make these changes.

Thank you for your continued prayers for my sister. Deb has been home for a day or so after about 10 days in hospital for her lung to heal and strengthen. She goes back to Minot for chemo on Friday.

Semi retired, not really YET

I'm sitting here testing semiretirement for the weekend. Wake when I feel like it 7:30! Stay in bed napping, soak in the Jacuzzi, sausage gravy biscuits and eggs for breakfast at 10 or so........ [sausage gravy is my American heritage screaming]. we will eventually get to a few grocery and other errands today.

Now to gather enough details in the next 3-5 days to get perspective for the first decisions in this CHANGE in life. This is the first time in 32 years and maybe 35 that I haven't seen ongoing monthly paychecks. Wow! There is 2 years income still to come but now we're vulnerable to our own planning and discipline! Scared for us? God will provide wisdom and resources but we have had so much support with predictability that the change in expectation is a real challenge at least for me.

Ahh sweet relief

Well the BIG meeting was only a big meeting. I can at least start to work with an idea of a tentative last work day and some vacation and then seeing how God assembles the rest.

Sorry best to not blog the specifics just yet as they aren't finalized. There is a definite release of tension. Now if my sister's cancer continues to regress and we could restore our relationship with Jay & Julie life would be so glorious. Oh and if Colleen's knee would heal. The list of trials is far from empty but GOD IS GOOD.

Hasta luego.

Wow what a week

I thought my week had challenges, which it did, until I talked with Bill and found out Deb has been in hospital since Thursday except for a trip to Crosby and back in record time.

Deb needed extra time for platlets before her IV port surgery Thursday so was in hospital for an extra day. Then when they inserted the port on Friday apparently the surgeon unknowingly nicked the sack around her lung and it collapsed before she could get back to the hospital. Fortunately Bill has some collapsed lung experience so he was able to coach her. There is a LOT more to the tale but not suitable for blogging.

The current plan is that Deb will be in hospital in Minot until Monday afternoon. Please pray for the skill and wisdom of those providing care to Deb; patience, wisdom and strength for Deb and Bill.

Colleen's knee continues to heal with the help of physiotherapy and the marvels of the body that God designed.

Oh I have a meeting coming up this week at work with HR which may help the past year's uncertainties to begin to take shape. Please pray for my wisdom.

HEY EVERYBODY HOW ARE YOU?

yeah let me know.......................

I'm not sure how to describe the last week. No profound thoughts are being driven lately.

My sister is back in hospital in Minot to rebuild her strength. Potassium, sodium, 2 units of blood. Serious but sounds like a good step in the long term improvement. Please pray for all of us to have strength, patience and truly release all aspects for her and ourselves to God's supernatural ways.

Some younger friends have had birthdays.
Colleen's knee is a bit better and she sees the physiotherapist today.
Work has had levels and lows, no real highs!
Zou is looking great and exciting.
Melissa has had a good week.
No news or contact from Jay & Julie.
Feeling pretty good even though I'm home 'sick' from work.
Tension has strange effects on motivation.
Tomorrow may hold relaxation and house cleaning.
and I continue to add to my Facebook friends.

And plans are coming together for a June trip to Oklahoma and Kansas for family gatherings. Then a 08/08/08 trip to Campbell River for a wedding.

A few surprises

Thursday brought news we are going to be grandparents again, sadly from Colleen's hairdresser. One of Jay's friend's confirmed and we estimate early to mid June. Please be praying for them and the changes this will bring. How different from 3 years ago when they told us Alex was on the way. We trust God's grace.

Friday evening brought crutches into our house for the first time. Colleen's knee popped just as she was finishing work and so we spent the evening in the emergency ward. She missed a free dinner and I left Zou just as it was getting started. Her manager took her to emergency. Great husband,eh? My cell phone does not receive most calls in the church building.

Saturday we had a VERY relaxed morning and I made omelet, coffee, toast. It has been many weeks since we had a relaxed breakfast together. Not even on our Anniversary this week. We had a nice voice chat with Melissa during bkfst too.

Today was a great message at church about relationships. You can check it out here http://www.lakeviewchurch.com/sermons/sermons08.html in a few days. Colleen's knee is slowly getting better. No work for her tomorrow. Alas but yes for me. Well actually I remind myself that it is a blessing to have such a well paying job.

37 th Wedding Anniversary TODAY

37 years ago we were 2 anxious kids in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan. Well we didn't think we were kids in 1971, but 20 year olds sure seem young now!

One card I DIDN'T buy said marriage is like a toilet seat, it has its ups and downs! I could wax eloquently and sentimentally but the reality is that marrige takes deliberate effort and consideration each and every day.

Most of the time it is enjoyable. The days it isn't is more a function of me than Colleen. I think she should crave meeting my every desire. Hmm but she doesn't seem to.

Come on be bold, COMMENT....................

A 4 day catch up

Deb's treatments continue to provide positive results although Friday was the first day she had without severe nausea. She said it was almost a joke how close they would get to home before they had to stop for her nausea.

Today I got to have Paul & Christa's boys, Jude and Owen, here for a few hours. LOTS of fun and pretty interesting making cone cakes with a 2 and 7 year old. Only one egg landed on the counter instead of inside the bowl. I know almost everyone reading this thinks I'm crazy for letting them do most of the work. I had a blast! A little tired, I'm out of practise!

Pray for Deb

Well today was really rough radiation day. Lower back and spine so the stomach upset and Ensure travelling back out made for a rough time. And apparently her throat and esophagus are extremely sensitive (read that as raw) so medication helps make milk tolerable.

Please pray for Deb and Bill to be sustained and refreshed on an hourly basis through this next couple weeks as they will probably be the most physically painful.

my I got to day

I got to take my wife to work
I got to have an Egg McMuffin for breakfast
I got to relax
I got to do a small plumbing repair with a friend
I got to take my Mother in law to the bus depot
I got to relax
I got to take my wife to Moxie's for supper
I got to talk with my sister
I got to pray with her for continued healing
I got to relax

Chemotherapy nausea has improved

Ok that is a bit confusing.......

Debbie's first chemo treatment wasn't too bad. They have done a lot to lessen the nausea effects. She is feeling reasonable and the steroid therapy has created some appetite as well as some energy. Tomorrow and Saturday bring more radiation and then a few days off before more next week. We had a nice half hour visit.

Another harsh realization was thinking back to when we were kids and how old our aunts and uncles were. Well when I was in High school the youngest Fred was 3o (younger than both my kids)! YIKES. and the others were all younger than I am now!

Okay stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Well I found out it's been 9 1/2 years since I last visited Crosby! And 5 since my sister and I got together. One year for each hour it takes to drive there. June is our next target to get together. I guess I need to make more space in my scheduling.

We had a nice visit. Her treatments are providing good results even though she has lost a considerable amount of weight. I think the only time she had any extra weight was when she was pregnant so she is very thin. I once again was reminded how old I am getting. It shocked me that she is looking old which I suppose a 53 year old woman fighting cancer might look. It is the reality of not seeing people regularly............she didn't look nearly as old within a few minutes.

I find I am regularly noticing how young or old those around me are looking. Then I realize I'm not 27 anymore. Wow what happened to the last 30 years! So how do I know if I am old?

Thanks for all your prayers. I pray for all of you that the pains and challenges of 2007 will turn into the joys of 2008.

Visiting Crosby for the second time in 6 years

Well tomorrow we go to visit my sister. This will be a real boost for her. We will stay in the [exquisite] Golden Hub Motel since they have a small one bedroom house. There is nothing quite like small town North Dakota in December!

As far as I know her radiation treatments have had good results. After Saturday's appointment she may have some idea about the chemotherapy plan.

When we get back I will post an update and also let our various cousins know.

We had family over on boxing day

Parker & Shawna, Jennifer, Arlin, Tony & Brennan for Brunch

PRAISE GOD and the medical knowledge He has revealed

Well Deb is not out of the woods by any means but the radiation has stopped the progression of the cancer on her spine.

THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE BEEN PRAYING!

GOD HAS HEARD YOUR PETITIONS.

I will avoid medical and treatment details but I am very encouraged even though there is still a very uncertain path ahead. Please remember to pray for Bill's strength and refreshing as he cares for her and their home. Pray that he will be strengthened for his work and he will remain healthy.

God is so good. He has met me in a time of need. Thank you to those who have touched me and provided support.

A Mixed Saturday Report

Well getting Colleen to work was pretty uneventful and because Fuddrucker's parking lot was full I decided to come home and make my own breakfast. Well about 5 minutes after we left Debbie's husband Bill called to say she was in Minot receiving radiation treatment. WHAT!

Bill, Deb's husband, took Debbie to Minot hospital emergency Thursday night and she had 2 radiation treatments yesterday and will have 2 more today. Minot is about 2 hours from Crosby. Deb did not have strength to move her legs on Thursday evening. the short version is that after seeing doctors in Crosby Bill drove Deb to Minot and the MRI showed cancer in her lungs, breasts and spine. The spinal attack is the most immediate concern and creates a treatment by treatment prognosis.

There is hope and the Dr suggested she may go home for Christmas and return for additional treatments. She was sounding good this morning. I am sure Bill is exhausted, hurting and yet focused on the activity at hand.

It remains day by day, treatment by treatment. With the variety of aches in our hearts it continues to amaze and comfort me how there is ABSOLUTELY no sense of hopelessness.

God reigns!

After talking with Deb I called our sister in law in Kansas City who has successfully beaten cancer twice. So after I messed up her day she was able to report that my brother has been sober for 2 years! Things have a long way to go but the mixture of challenges and successes show God's sovereignty and provision.

Please pray for wisdom and clarity of thought for the medical staff; strength for Deb, Bill and those of us that are able to provide support; patience and diligence for those that support us.

One thought to wrap up for now. As I have gone through this past week people have offered a variety of supporting and comforting words. I have found the most support and encouragement from those words that had nothing to do with the reality of cancer, it's cause or prognosis. I haven't quite sorted out my range of thoughts but I realized I have been seeking comfort not explanation.

Life seemed pretty ordinary until Sat morning

Yep a full month since my last post.

My sister called Saturday morning to confirm that she has been diagnosed with cancer. It will be a couple weeks before she is able to meet with a doctor in Bismarck ND to review the CT scans and biopsy results. Now that I've talked with Melissa I will provide updates as they are available. Debbie and her husband Bill are doing quite well in the situation and will appreciate all the prayers.

It makes my concerns seem insignificant. Well at least for a while then my concerns take over my mind and I struggle to think and feel the way I know is God's desire for me. Please pray for me that I can be the support my sister needs. She lives a 5 hour drive away.

As Colleen and I go through this (joyous?) Christmas season I try to interpret the ache I feel in my heart so I can better understand God's desire for relationship with us. Please pray that Melissa will be sustained with a joyous heart, good times and good work. Please pray for Jay & Julie that their hearts and minds will be softened so that our relationship can be healed and restored.

I truly wish that all of you will be able to experience the happiness and expectation that Christmas represents. God sent Jesus to earth as a baby so we can experience the innocence of birth and the forgiveness that His sacrifice on the cross provides for each of us. Life sure has its contrasts! Joy, sorrow, forgiveness, thankfulness.

Please don't feel sorry for me. Treasure your loved ones and LET THEM KNOW IT.

Boy, I'm just about maxed out on my sadness capacity...................................Oh well tears won't hurt me.

A feet up Saturday

My brain and body didn't act like I just had a day off last Monday. So after taking Colleen to work this morning I went back to bed and slept for most of an hour.

Man I'm wearing out easily these days! Please pray for Colleen's tolerance. Oh and my refreshing. The strike is now 2 weeks old and even though it seems to make my workload a bit lighter I am finding it very tiring. And I don't have the stress on my income that the strikers have; they must be exhausted!

We had another dusting of snow this morning. It might be the one to stay. We may only have the occasional day above freezing until March. I am so thankful for our warm house.

Luv & hugs to each of you.