Buying a birthday card and children's gift wrap didn't bring the excitement and joy it should.
I'm not sure what I grieved more: expecting to miss another of our grandson's birthdays, missing another day of relationship with our son, missing another day of relationship with Jay's wife Julie, missing another day of relationship with our granddaughter or just being grumpy.
And then the work I was going to do didn't happen so grumble, gripe, feel sad, try to NOT feel mad! Oh well, I am not on the way to the hospital nor do I have anyone in the hospital that I know of. Unfortunately one of my dear friends/relatives' father is in the last stages of cancer that was only recently discovered. Hmmm, we identify a young child without parents as an orphan; when you are in your 30's or 60's it can seem just as real!
Well I don't feel as low as I did the last half of the morning so I can now put the thoughts into words and contemplate for a few days.
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