HALLELUJAH

The last time I started my post this way it was the day after my sister died. Well today is much happier. Jay came by for a couple hours with Alex & Gaby.
My HEART IS FULL. Thanks, Jay! Today is the first of many more joyous and happy times.

Colleen was behind the camera!

Ponderings and Expressions

Yesterday we learned of a friend's mother passing away. Colleen noted that this is the second person who has died whose spouse we saw at a funeral 2 weeks ago. [now don't get paranoid] Ron Bader died from injuries in a fall and Delia Rodine-Alexander has passed after a number of years of declining health. Both are now rejoicing in Heaven while those of us here deal with missing them yet comforted by the eternal hope.

Where is your spiritual home? I am not only thinking of Heaven but also where you feel your spiritual roots are set. Mine is the Lakeview congregation. I guess since almost ALL adult life has been here it is no surprise.

This week I was thinking about the various ups, downs, highs, lows, mountains and valleys we have seen at Lakeview over the years. I wondered which of these helped people build a spiritual root and which stunted, ripped out or killed those roots. I believe it is very easy to forget we, the church, have a spiritual responsibility to each other. It is very easy to be self focused. After all, God created us with a self preservation dimension. Now to try to display some of His selfless love..................

November Ponderings

Today I asked myself if I live on the edge just beside depression. I know from some friends and family how much of a challenge and struggle it is and I don't have THAT degree of challenge. I wonder how many people are living close to the edge fearing depression but actually are in a real tough season in life. And sure some are in a very long season................

One year ago we were days away from our Taiwan winter adventure and we have 8 more weeks of Saskatchewan winter before our planned departure. Some Birks work and some Electrical Contacting work will finish our cold days for this year.

Oh, how do I complain about my Mother-in-law's driving without getting in trouble or giving too much detail? Too late probably in trouble. Well not with some people but I am trying to reason if she is a risk to herself and others or just to our sanity!

She did manage to get drive from her apartment in Saskatoon to a friends funeral in PA! The challenge was getting back through Saskatoon to her apartment. I CANNOT figure how she gets to where she does in Saskatoon and am not patient enough to ask enough of the right questions to figure it out. She managed to get on BOTH sides of the river at least TWICE on the way home and ended up at our house! ARGH.

Well at least it takes our minds off the lack of communication with Jay & Julie. I ache for the relationship to return. or even begin to be something............I wish I could get a hint of what to do...........

What a week!!!

Please be praying for God's grace and wisdom for Lakeview Church. We are in a very challenging time. God is supreme. God is soveriegn! All we need to do is to follow.

God is good, life is good COMMENTARY

Today warmed to 16 degrees it was glorious and as much as I talked about it with Zou kids last night I realize I did not have a conscious thought toward how I could see God through the activity of the day.... How is it that some days it is easy to perceive God and others it is easy to avoid those thoughts? I guess I was relaxing more than being deliberate in my day....Except during the Riders game dueling with Lesley!

Today I reaffirmed I am a peace lover! I was part of a Facebook encounter and I wanted to run SCARED!!!!!!!!!!! The written word, emotion, humour, spirit, loyalty can work together in a beautiful way but can also be so easily misinterpreted. I am a pretty passionate person and often wear the safe mask when in public view, don't I. Oh wait, my blog is one place I don't always wear the 'safe mask'. I do try to be aware, smart, considered while being open. I try to show vulnerability without being vulnerable to abuse or attack.

My thoughts are kind of empty or racing or flowing or not connected or wandering so this is it for today.

Oh wait, a cousin's daughter and family are going to serve in Mexico for 6 months leaving winter behind with a trailer and 3 kids sounds FUN! see I am strange. A friend's father passed away, not unexpected but still sooner than expected. Her mother passed away in the last 6 months too. Melissa has a new job that will help with cash and permanent residency processes. Still no word from Jay and Julie, SIGH, silent tear, hmmmmmm. Church was good connection time, 2 missions service teams talked about Mulenga and their experience there this summer. They spoke of a family feeling that we can identify with from our time in Kaohsiung. Now to see who God has for our house this year while we are in Taiwan.

No witty retort

it's been 3 weeks since i expounded anywhere but Facebook. I need to spend more pondering time.

I've been trying to rationalize Facebook and blogging. I can pretty easily dismiss twitter and regularly use email for specific person to person communication. I even use the phone occassionally.

A good friend is now out of the hospital after repair of a broken femur. Now the hard part begins for him, PATIENCE. And it will take a while for their famuily routine to return to normal.

Life here is pretty normal...Colleen works 10-4 3 day a week, I'm doing a variety of electrical work: replacing ballasts and fluorscent tubes, wiring some basements and a garage. I think I dislocated my shoulder holding ballasts in place on tuesday! Well OK not dislocated but it sure hurts, whiney, whiney........ My chiropractor treatment tomorrow should help. Then I can do some wiring and see if it is fixed or hurt............

I grieved for a while today!

Buying a birthday card and children's gift wrap didn't bring the excitement and joy it should.

I'm not sure what I grieved more: expecting to miss another of our grandson's birthdays, missing another day of relationship with our son, missing another day of relationship with Jay's wife Julie, missing another day of relationship with our granddaughter or just being grumpy.

And then the work I was going to do didn't happen so grumble, gripe, feel sad, try to NOT feel mad! Oh well, I am not on the way to the hospital nor do I have anyone in the hospital that I know of. Unfortunately one of my dear friends/relatives' father is in the last stages of cancer that was only recently discovered. Hmmm, we identify a young child without parents as an orphan; when you are in your 30's or 60's it can seem just as real!

Well I don't feel as low as I did the last half of the morning so I can now put the thoughts into words and contemplate for a few days.

I miss my mommy!

this doesn't have the same effect when I have to repost it due to IE issues!

Yep even at 59 I miss my mommy some days. Mom died in 1988 and strangely since Colleen's mom has moved here to Saskatoon I more frequently think of and miss my mother. They are not at all similar but this isn't about similarity. I even find myself wanting to drop in and visit mom after dropping Colleen at work but often she is not up and around by then.......and later she is involved in the many activities organized by the Resident's Association at her apartment. Poor me, right!

It has been a beautiful day here.....mid 20's so I was able to do the small amount of weeding in the front bed area. Now I am giving the birch tree its Fall watering.

Tomorrow is another chapter change. The PA church is having a farewell lunch and presentation for Mom after church. She has been a member there for probably 70 years! well OK maybe not quite that long but close. This is the first time she will be returning to Prince Albert and not be staying at her own home. It sold in 2 days with 2 weeks possession! Whew, 3 months ago she had just barely seen some of the apartments here!

Have a great day and weekend and week.

Brief thoughts.......

God sustains me but I still have to put in the effort each day! I have had 32 years of responding to an employer's schedule and now am learning how to develop the responsibility and discipline for my own scheduling. I look forward to following your adventure!

Time FLIES, well at least keeps moving along

It seems like lurking on Facebook keeps me from reading blogs and then sharing more of the depth of my life. Hmmm.

There is certainly more opportunity to share in the surface dimensions of people's lives via FB but there is a personal depth that I prefer to share through Blogging. I think it might be because I want to unload and unwind to a smaller audience. Oh and also so it doesn't FORCE someone to join something to be able to access the info.

Having said all that the last few weeks seem to have been fairly full. Colleen's Mom's house was listed Sept 1 and sold Sept 3rd! Fantastic and yet PANIC with a Sept 15th possession date! It feels like I did that 90 mile trip every 3 days since them! Today finished the last things, I thought I had the last trip 3 times!!!) This is the end of an era! Mom has a great 2 bedroom apartment that overlooks the river and the city.

Other aspects of life continue much as they have. No contact with Jay & Julie due to Jay's "Please do not come here uninvited" [sigh] Melissa continues to do well but permanent resident status continues to elude her. It is exciting and a bit frustrating for her to wait to see what God unfolds.

Christmas is in 3 months and 10 days!! We will be heading back to Taiwan before New Years. Melissa might be here for Christmas.

Lloyd Colborne thoughts

Some of these thoughts are pondering that have been percolating for a while but brought to the surface with the Memorial Service for Lloyd Colborne. Each of his children and grandchildren had written a note to Pastor Dean so he could incorporate it into the eulogy. Unfortunately I cannot recall them. When asked why he thought God called him so directly Lloyd had said "so my family could know Him" I trust that strikes a chord with many of us!! Lloyd has 1 wife, 2 sons, 2 daughter in laws, 4 grandchildren and one grandchild, oh and a couple grandchildren in law (if there is such a label) I don't know if all have accepted Christ but I know many have! THAT'S QUITE A MARK FOR US TO HOLD BEFORE US

I know there are times I have failed my wife and children. I also know there are times I have succeeded. So how do I go from here? What do I do for Melissa? What do I do for Jay? What do I do for Julie? What do I do for Alex? What do I do for Gaby? What do I do for Colleen? What do I do for YOU? HELP ME, TELL ME. Some days I think I know, some days I find out I didn't! Some days I find out I was wrong! Some days I can't undo the wrong...........

I keep looking for answers or ways to fix my mistakes.............................some days I can't no matter how hard I try.

Keep you eyes on your fries!

Today's sermon focused on Psalm 37 concluding with thoughts on living life with expectancy. We all have expectations but that is different than living with an expectancy of what God will do in and through our lives.

Each of us have expectations of ourselves and those in our lives and fortunately for most of us these do not adversely affect relationships. I know I have expectations for my children even now that they are adults in their 30's. I also now suspect those expectations have not always been the supportive undergirding I have hoped for. Am I being hard on myself, no, just pondering.

Another week of life

Some working, some playing, some helping others that bordered on play and work.

As with most weeks a mixture !

Lloyd Colborne passing at the age of 88. I have not known him well but the last several years I have known him as a prayer warrior praying consistently for leaders and regular folk daily, weekly or whatever they needed. Some in simple support and others in times of crisis or significant events.

A facebook chat with one of my aunts who is dealing with separation from her son too. We have covenanted to pray for each other's sons understanding. I think she has had more catastrophic events on her trail but that does not make the separation pain any less for either of us. I do know that we each have said we would do anything to renew the connection if we only knew what to do to bring change.

Farmer's Market was a GONG SHOW for us. I'm sure it was a very successful day for most with twice as many people as we have seen! Parking was impossible within 3 blocks or 45 minutes but I enjoyed watching people as I drove around........ Of course that meant Colleen's expectations were DASHED AND SMASHED especially after I called her cellphone 4 times and it was on silent mode, argh. Hear me fume and try to be lovingly calm? I failed! She still loves me but like was not at the top of her list.

Tomorrow is Church BBQ day and in a few weeks we will get the fall season kicked off. WOW FALL STARTUP!?

Now to finish a couple electrical jobs I'm doing and get to some houses in PA that need smoke detectors........

Does Facebook membership displace blogging?

it sure has for me.......or maybe I am in a place where I am not as filled with words of angst. Maybe Facebook allows the brief spurts of thought and wit a release so the blog urgency takes longer to build. Kind of like being on a liquid diet!!!! HA HA

Melissa has only had moderate impact from the typhoon that has devastated many areas of Taiwan. Although she has had a few days without water due to system shutdowns. I suspect the amount of debris and silt overload filtration systems but we will never get a clear explanation............you can't say systems are inadequate, can you!

I survived the 2 day yard sale at Colleen's Moms' house in PA, Wendell and Odette did a gargantuan job preparing for it. Josh and Cordell and Yvonne have helped tremendously too. We sold EVERYTHING that was ready for the decision. EVEN THE OLD DEEP FREEZE! Only the floor area of the 2 upstairs bedrooms is left. Now for a few kitchen cupboards and the bedrooms........................you can only process so much at a time and keep processing!

Oh, please keep praying for insight and open hearts and minds regarding Jay & Julie. We don't know what to do and Jay has expressly asked me to 'respect his privacy and not come there uninvited' hmmmm, argh, SIGH, whimper..............